A wedding invitation has to convey five things: who is hosting, who is marrying, when, where, and what to do next. Everything beyond that is style. The part couples get wrong is not the formal phrasing — it is leaving out the information guests actually need, like dress code and whether children are invited.
Who is hosting, and why it is the first line
Traditionally the hosts are whoever is paying, and the invitation opens in their voice: 'Mr and Mrs James Doe request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of their daughter...'. When the couple hosts, it opens with them: 'Together with their families, Jane Doe and John Smith invite you...'.
The 'together with their families' formulation is now the most widely used, because it is accurate in most modern situations - several people contributed - and it avoids ranking anyone.
Formality, and matching it to the day
'Request the honour of your presence' traditionally signals a religious venue; 'request the pleasure of your company' signals anywhere else. Spelling out the date and time in words reads formal; numerals read modern. Neither is incorrect.
What matters is consistency with the wedding itself. A black-tie invitation to a barn reception confuses people about what to wear, and that confusion is the actual cost of getting the register wrong.
What couples leave out and should not
Dress code. If you care at all, say it. Guests would rather be told than guess, and 'black tie optional' or 'garden party attire' takes four words.
Whether children are invited. Named addressing carries it, but a line on the website removes all doubt.
End time or an indication of the shape of the day. Guests booking travel and childcare need to know whether this ends at ten or at two.
The website. One line pointing to it lets you keep the invitation clean and put everything else there.
What to actually do about it
- Proofread as though it costs $800 to be wrong
- Because it does. Almost every stationery contract makes you responsible for the final proof, and a reprint is a fresh press setup.
- Check the date against a calendar, out loud
- Wrong day-of-week for the date is the single most common invitation error, and it is invisible when you are reading for typos.
- Put details on your wedding website, not the invitation
- Dress code detail, directions, hotels, registry and FAQs all belong there. One line on the invitation keeps it uncluttered.
- Have your stationer weigh a finished suite
- Square, thick or oversized invitations need extra postage, sometimes double. This is the most commonly unbudgeted cost in stationery.
Common questions
How do you word a wedding invitation when the couple is hosting?
'Together with their families, Jane Doe and John Smith invite you to celebrate their marriage.' This formulation is now the most widely used because it is accurate when several people have contributed and avoids ranking anyone.
What is the difference between 'honour of your presence' and 'pleasure of your company'?
Traditionally, 'the honour of your presence' signals a religious venue and 'the pleasure of your company' signals anywhere else. Neither is incorrect anywhere; what matters more is that the formality matches the wedding itself.
Should you put the dress code on a wedding invitation?
Yes, if you care at all. Four words - 'black tie optional', 'garden party attire' - saves every guest from guessing. Anything longer belongs on your wedding website.
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