Planning
The parts nobody warns you about.
33 guides to the wedding decisions that actually cause trouble — and the specific thing to tell your vendors so they don't.
Most wedding planning advice is written to be reassuring. These are written to be useful, which sometimes means telling you that a receiving line costs you twenty-five minutes nobody scheduled, that marriage licenses expire, and that the fastest way to lose an hour is family photographs without a written list.
Every guide ends with what to do about it and which vendor to tell — because a planning problem you cannot hand to anyone is just a worry.
The day itself
The wedding day timeline
What does a wedding day timeline look like?
A wedding day timeline is built backwards, not forwards.
The ceremony order
What is the order of a wedding ceremony?
Most wedding ceremonies follow the same seven beats: processional, welcome, readings, vows, rings, pronouncement, recessional.
The reception order
What is the order of events at a wedding reception?
A reception has a shape: entrance, dinner, speeches, first dances, then the floor opens.
The first dance
How do you choose a first dance song?
The practical constraints on a first dance song are shorter than people expect: it wants a steady tempo, a clear beginning, and ideally a length under three and a half minutes.
The emergency kit
What should be in a wedding emergency kit?
A wedding emergency kit solves about a dozen predictable problems: a broken strap, a stain, a headache, a blister, a missing button.
People
The guest list
How do you make a wedding guest list?
The guest list is the most expensive decision in wedding planning, because catering, bar, rentals, cake, invitations and transport are all priced per person.
Plus-ones
Who gets a plus-one at a wedding?
There is no universal rule about plus-ones, which is exactly why you need your own.
Kids at weddings
Should you have kids at your wedding?
Either choice is entirely normal, and both need to be communicated clearly and early.
The seating chart
How do you make a wedding seating chart?
Do not start the seating chart until RSVPs are closed and the final count is in, because every change cascades.
The wedding party
How do you choose your wedding party?
Choose people for who they are on a hard day, not for who has the longest history with you.
The wedding party
Maid of honor duties
What are the maid of honor's duties?
The maid of honour's real job is not on the list anyone hands you.
Bridesmaid duties
What are a bridesmaid's duties?
Buy the dress, turn up to the things, and on the day be useful without being asked.
Best man duties
What are the best man's duties?
Hold the rings, give the speech, organise the bachelor party, and on the day keep the groom fed, on time and calm.
Words
Writing your own vows
How do you write your own wedding vows?
Personal vows work when they are specific and short.
Wedding speeches
How do you write a wedding speech?
Five minutes.
Invitation wording
How do you word a wedding invitation?
A wedding invitation has to convey five things: who is hosting, who is marrying, when, where, and what to do next.
Thank-you notes
When should you send wedding thank-you notes?
Within three months of the wedding, and within two weeks for gifts that arrive beforehand.
Money & who pays
Who pays for the wedding
Who pays for the wedding?
In the United States today, most weddings are paid for by some combination of the couple and both sets of parents, and the couple is usually the largest single contributor.
Who pays for the rehearsal dinner
Who pays for the rehearsal dinner?
Traditionally the groom's family, and this is one of the few old conventions that has largely survived.
Who pays for showers & parties
Who pays for the bridal shower and bachelorette party?
The bridal shower is hosted and paid for by whoever throws it — traditionally the maid of honour and bridesmaids, sometimes a relative.
What a wedding dress costs
How much does a wedding dress cost?
Most wedding dresses cost between $1,200 and $2,500, and the number that catches people out is alterations — commonly $300 to $800 on top, almost never included, and required on nearly every dress.
What rings cost
How much does a wedding ring cost?
Wedding bands typically cost $500 to $1,500 each, and engagement rings $2,000 to $8,000 depending almost entirely on the centre stone.
Logistics
The marriage license
How do you get a marriage license?
Both of you apply in person at a county clerk's office, bring photo ID, pay a fee usually between $30 and $120, and receive the license.
Managing RSVPs
How do you manage wedding RSVPs?
Set your RSVP deadline three to four weeks before the wedding, roughly a week before your caterer's final count is due.
The rehearsal dinner
Who is invited to the rehearsal dinner?
At minimum: the wedding party and their partners, immediate family, the officiant, and anyone with a role in the ceremony.
The rain plan
What is a wedding rain plan?
A rain plan is not 'we'll move inside'.
Your wedding website
What should you put on your wedding website?
A wedding website exists to answer the questions guests would otherwise text you.
Changing your name
How do you change your name after marriage?
The order is fixed and it matters: certified marriage certificate first, then Social Security, then your driver's licence, then passport, then banks and everything else.
Your wedding website
What goes on the website
What should we put on our wedding website?
Put on your wedding website every question a guest would otherwise text you, in the order they will ask it: when and where, how to get there and where to stay, what to wear, how to reply and by when, and where the registry is.
How to make a wedding website
How do we make a wedding website?
Making a wedding website takes about twenty minutes if you do it in the right order: pick a design, type your names and date, add the venue and the schedule, publish, and share the link.
Wedding website wording
What should our wedding website say?
Write your wedding website the way you would text a friend who is coming: short, warm, and specific.
When to share the website
When should we send out our wedding website?
Share your wedding website with the save-the-date, six to eight months before the wedding, or ten to twelve for a destination wedding, with the date, the city and where to stay already on it.
Your tools
The rest of the planning we've published
These four questions have their own guides, because each one needed more room than a section:
- What everything costs. Honest ranges for all 15 vendor categories, what moves each number, and where to spend less without regretting it.
- When to book each vendor. Ordered by what genuinely sells out, which is not the same as what you think of first.
- What to ask before you book. 134 questions, each with what a good answer sounds like and what should worry you.
- Wedding traditions. 25 ceremonies explained as they are actually performed, and what to tell your officiant so yours goes well.
Why these read differently
Lazo earns nothing from vendors — no fee per lead, no fee per booking, and rankings that can't be bought at any price. That means we have no reason to smooth over the parts of wedding planning that are genuinely annoying, and no reason to recommend spending where spending does not help. Where we think something is not worth the money, these guides say so.