Wedding traditions

The rituals a wedding is actually made of.

46 traditions, explained as they are really performed — and what to tell your officiant, your photographer and your DJ so each one goes the way it should.

We are named after one of these. El lazo is the cord looped in a figure eight around a couple after their vows, and it is the reason this company is called what it is — so writing carelessly about anyone else's ceremony was never going to be an option.

Most wedding sites give a tradition a paragraph inside a listicle, usually written by someone who has never seen it happen. These pages describe what actually occurs, who does it, where practice varies by country and family, and the concrete thing you have to tell a vendor for it to go well. Where a tradition carries a history that matters, we say so rather than reducing it to decor.

Latin American & Spanish

Las arras Mexican, Spanish & Latin American Las arras are thirteen coins the groom gives the bride during a Mexican, Spanish or Latin American wedding ceremony, usually just after the vows. Padrinos & madrinas Mexican, Spanish & Latin American Padrinos and madrinas are the wedding godparents in Mexican, Latin American and Filipino weddings: married couples the bride and groom choose to sponsor a specific part of the ceremony and, more importantly, to stand behind the marriage for the rest of their lives. La Víbora de la Mar Mexican & Latin American La Víbora de la Mar is the wildest scheduled event at a Mexican wedding reception: the bride and groom stand on chairs holding hands overhead while guests form a chain and run underneath, faster and faster, until someone falls or the couple is nearly pulled off. La Hora Loca Latin American & Caribbean La Hora Loca is the hour, usually around midnight, when a Latin American reception deliberately detonates: the lights change, the music switches to carnival percussion, and guests are handed masks, feathered headpieces, LED glasses, glow sticks and inflatable instruments. The money dance Latin American, Filipino & Polish In the money dance, guests pay a small amount for a moment on the dance floor with the bride or groom - pinning bills to their clothes, tucking notes into a purse, or handing them to an attendant. Mariachi Mexican A mariachi ensemble at a Mexican wedding is not background music. Puerto Rican traditions Puerto Rican Two things are distinctly Puerto Rican: the capias, ribbons printed with the couple's names that guests are given as keepsakes, and the muñeca — a doll dressed as the bride, covered in those capias, that sits on the head table and is dismantled through the night. Cintas de torta Peruvian & Latin American Ribbons are baked into the bottom tier of the cake, each tied to a small charm, with exactly one attached to a ring.

Filipino

The veil ceremony Mexican, Spanish & Filipino In the veil ceremony, padrinos drape a length of white fabric over the bride's head and pin it to the groom's shoulder, covering the couple together during part of the ceremony. Filipino wedding traditions Filipino A Filipino Catholic wedding is built around three ceremonial gifts - the veil, the cord and the coins - each placed by a different pair of sponsors, plus the candle ceremony that opens them.

Jewish

Breaking the glass Jewish At the end of a Jewish wedding ceremony the groom - or both partners - stomps on a wrapped glass, it shatters, and the room shouts 'Mazel tov!' It is the single most recognisable moment in a Jewish wedding, and the reason usually given is the most serious one available: even at the height of joy, we remember that the world is broken. The hora Jewish The hora is the circle dance that opens a Jewish wedding reception, and its famous part is the chair lift: the couple is hoisted overhead on chairs while the room dances around them, each holding one end of a napkin between them. The chuppah Jewish A chuppah is the canopy a Jewish couple stands beneath to be married: a cloth held up by four poles, open on every side. The ketubah Jewish A ketubah is the Jewish marriage contract - historically a legal document setting out a husband's obligations to his wife, and today usually a piece of art the couple signs before the ceremony and hangs in their home. The bedeken Jewish Before the ceremony, the groom is brought to the bride — often carried, singing, by a crowd of men — and lowers the veil over her face himself.

South Asian

Mehndi South Asian Mehndi is the pre-wedding celebration where intricate henna designs are applied to the bride's hands, arms and feet - a process that takes hours - while family and friends eat, sing and have their own henna done. The baraat South Asian The baraat is the groom's arrival procession at a South Asian wedding: he travels to the venue accompanied by his family and friends, traditionally on a decorated white horse, while a dhol drummer plays and everyone dances in the street in front of him. Haldi South Asian At the haldi ceremony, family members smear a paste of turmeric, sandalwood and oil onto the bride and groom - usually at their own homes, usually the morning of or the day before the wedding. Saptapadi Hindu Saptapadi is the heart of a Hindu wedding: the couple takes seven steps together around a sacred fire, and with each step makes a specific vow. Anand Karaj Sikh Anand Karaj means 'blissful union'. The sangeet South Asian The sangeet is the music and dance night before a South Asian wedding, and at many weddings it is the event people enjoy most.

East Asian

The tea ceremony Chinese In the Chinese wedding tea ceremony the couple kneels and serves tea to their parents and elders in strict order of seniority, addressing each by their proper title. Paebaek Korean Paebaek is the Korean ceremony in which the couple, dressed in hanbok, formally greets the groom's parents - and now usually both families - with deep bows and tea. Door games Chinese Before a Chinese groom can collect his bride, her friends barricade the door and make him earn his way in — through dares, quizzes about her, physical challenges, and ultimately red envelopes passed under the door. Buddhist weddings Buddhist Buddhism does not treat marriage as a religious sacrament, so there is no required Buddhist wedding ceremony.

Southeast Asian

Vietnamese wedding traditions Vietnamese A Vietnamese wedding centres on le gia tien — the ceremony before the ancestral altar, held at each family's home. Hmong wedding traditions Hmong A Hmong wedding is a negotiation between two clans, conducted by appointed spokesmen called mej koob who speak on the families' behalf across two or three days.

Middle Eastern & Persian

The sofreh aghd Persian & Iranian The sofreh aghd is the elaborate spread laid on the floor at a Persian wedding, facing east, covered with symbolic objects: a mirror, candles, honey, flatbread, eggs, coins, wild rue and a book of faith or poetry.

African

Nigerian traditional wedding Nigerian A Nigerian traditional wedding is a separate, full-scale event from the white wedding, usually held days or weeks before it — and for many families it is the one that counts. Ethiopian wedding traditions Ethiopian & Eritrean An Ethiopian wedding runs across several days and several distinct events: the shimagle asking on the family's behalf, the telosh when the groom's party comes to collect the bride, the wedding itself, and the melse and kelekel celebrations that follow it in traditional dress.

Eastern European

Oczepiny Polish At midnight, the bride's veil is removed and replaced with a cap — historically the mark of moving from maiden to married woman — and the party shifts into games. Bread and salt Russian, Ukrainian & Slavic The couple's parents meet them with a decorated round loaf, the karavai, and a dish of salt. The rushnyk Ukrainian A rushnyk is an embroidered ritual cloth, and at a Ukrainian wedding the couple stands on one during the ceremony.

European & Celtic

Handfasting Celtic & pagan Handfasting is the Celtic ceremony in which the couple's hands are bound together with cords or ribbons while they make their promises. Stefana Greek Orthodox Stefana are two crowns joined by a single white ribbon, placed on the heads of a Greek Orthodox couple during their wedding. Irish wedding traditions Irish & Celtic Irish wedding customs run from the Claddagh ring and handfasting to the magic hanky, the ringing of bells and a horseshoe carried for luck. Something old, something new English & widely adopted Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue, and a silver sixpence in her shoe. Scottish wedding traditions Scottish Scottish weddings bring the quaich, the pinning of the tartan, handfasting and a ceilidh — and the ceilidh is the one that changes the evening. Italian wedding traditions Italian Italian weddings are organised around food and around two objects: la busta, the envelope of cash guests give in place of a gift, and the bomboniere, the favour the couple gives back. Polterabend German The night before a German wedding, guests smash porcelain outside the couple's home — and the couple sweeps it up together. Swedish wedding traditions Swedish & Nordic Two things define a Swedish wedding: the toastmaster, who runs an evening of speeches and songs with real authority, and the kissing rule — if either partner leaves the room, the guests queue up to kiss the one who stayed.

African American

Jumping the broom African American At the close of the ceremony the couple jumps together over a broom laid on the ground, and the guests count them in.

Indigenous American

The blanket ceremony Native American In the blanket ceremony the couple arrives wrapped in separate blue blankets, representing their past and its difficulties.

Unity rituals

The unity candle Christian & widely adopted In a unity candle ceremony, two taper candles - usually lit earlier by the mothers of the couple - are used together to light a single larger candle, and the tapers are then either extinguished or left burning. The sand ceremony Widely adopted In a sand ceremony the couple pours two differently coloured sands into a single vessel, where the streams layer and mix and cannot be separated again.

Including a tradition that isn't yours

Couples marry across cultures constantly, and blending two sets of rituals is one of the genuinely good problems in wedding planning. A few things make it go well.

Ask the family who holds it. Not the internet, and not us. The version your partner's grandmother knows is the one that will mean something in the room.
Have someone explain it aloud. Half your guests will not know what they are watching. Thirty seconds from the officiant turns a nice moment into the one people talk about afterwards.
Know which ones carry weight. Some traditions are festive and travel easily. Others — jumping the broom is the clearest example — are tied to a specific history, and taking them on without that history is not the same act.
Do fewer, properly. Three rituals given room beat eight crammed into a forty-minute ceremony. Every one of them needs a cue, a rehearsal and a photographer who knows it is coming.

Where to next

The lazo traditionThe wedding lasso ceremony we are named for. What a wedding costsHonest ranges for every vendor you'll hire. Find an officiantThe vendor who makes most of these happen.