What is handfasting at a wedding?
Celtic & pagan · also called tying the knot, Celtic handfasting, binding ceremony
Handfasting is the Celtic ceremony in which the couple's hands are bound together with cords or ribbons while they make their promises. It is where the phrase 'tying the knot' comes from, and it has become one of the most widely adopted non-religious ceremony rituals because it is simple, ancient, and visibly about the thing a wedding is about.
Where it comes from
Handfasting appears in Celtic and Scottish practice, at various points as a betrothal rather than a marriage - a binding for a year and a day, after which the couple confirmed or dissolved it. Its modern revival runs through pagan and Wiccan ceremonies and, from there, into secular weddings generally.
Its popularity now owes something to the fact that it carries meaning without carrying doctrine, which makes it usable by couples who want ritual without a religious frame.
How the binding is done
The couple joins hands - often right to right and left to left, which crosses the arms into an infinity shape - and the officiant or family members lay cords across them, one at a time, frequently saying a vow or blessing with each. The cords are then tied or simply drawn into a knot as the couple pulls their hands apart at the end.
The number and colour of cords is entirely open. Couples commonly use one cord per promise, or one per family, or fabric from something meaningful - a grandmother's scarf, a tartan, a christening blanket.
Planning it properly
A tradition only goes well if the people running your day know it is coming. These are the things to say out loud, and who to say them to.
- Practise the knot
- Binding two pairs of hands with several cords while everyone watches is harder than it looks. Your officiant should have done it at least once before your wedding.
- Decide whether the cords come off
- Some couples stay bound for the rest of the ceremony; others slide free immediately. It changes what your hands can do afterwards, including the rings.
- Do the rings first if hands are staying bound
- This is the ordering mistake almost everyone makes.
- Choose fabric that photographs
- Thin, pale ribbon disappears against skin and a white dress. Texture and colour read far better.
Common questions
Does handfasting mean you are legally married?
Not by itself. Handfasting is a symbolic ritual within a ceremony; the legal marriage depends on your officiant, your licence and your jurisdiction's requirements, exactly as it would without it.
Where does 'tying the knot' come from?
From handfasting - the literal binding of the couple's hands with cord during the ceremony. The phrase outlived widespread knowledge of the ritual it describes.
What do the handfasting cords mean?
There is no fixed system. Couples commonly use one cord per vow, one per family being joined, or colours chosen for their own meanings. Fabric from a meaningful source - a family tartan, a grandmother's scarf - is a frequent choice.
The vendors who make this work
Handfasting depends on people who have done it before. Every review on Lazo comes from a couple who actually got married with that vendor, and rankings can't be bought.
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