A ketubah is the Jewish marriage contract - historically a legal document setting out a husband's obligations to his wife, and today usually a piece of art the couple signs before the ceremony and hangs in their home. The signing happens privately, with witnesses, and is often the most emotionally intense part of the whole day precisely because almost nobody is watching.
What it says
The traditional Aramaic text is a contract: it specifies what the husband owes the wife in food, clothing and intimacy, and what she receives if the marriage ends. It was, and this is worth stating plainly, a protective instrument for women at a time when they had little other recourse.
Modern ketubot vary enormously. Orthodox couples use the traditional text unchanged. Conservative, Reform, egalitarian, interfaith and same-sex couples commonly use versions with mutual obligations, frequently in both Hebrew and English, and often written partly by the couple themselves.
The signing
It takes place before the ceremony, in a small room, with the officiant and two witnesses. Traditionally the witnesses must be observant Jews unrelated to the couple; requirements vary by movement and your rabbi will tell you.
Many couples describe this as the moment they actually felt married - the ceremony under the chuppah is public, and the signing is not. Photographers who know that treat it accordingly.
Planning it properly
A tradition only goes well if the people running your day know it is coming. These are the things to say out loud, and who to say them to.
- Order it three months out
- Ketubot are frequently made to order by an artist, with the couple's names and date lettered in. Rush fees are real and text errors are unfixable.
- Proofread the Hebrew with your officiant
- Names, dates and spellings in Hebrew are the most common error, and they are permanent.
- Ask your rabbi about witness requirements
- Who may sign varies by movement. Sort it before you ask two friends.
- Tell your photographer to be in the room
- It is quiet, it is small, and it is often the best twenty minutes of the day.
Common questions
What does a ketubah say?
Traditionally it is a marriage contract in Aramaic setting out the husband's obligations to his wife and her entitlements if the marriage ends. Modern versions - Conservative, Reform, egalitarian, interfaith and same-sex - commonly use mutual language in Hebrew and English.
Who signs the ketubah?
The couple, the officiant and two witnesses, usually in a private room before the ceremony. Traditional practice requires witnesses who are observant Jews unrelated to the couple, though requirements vary by movement.
When do you sign the ketubah?
Before the ceremony, in a small private gathering. It is then often read aloud or displayed under the chuppah during the ceremony itself.
The vendors who make this work
The ketubah depends on people who have done it before. Every review on Lazo comes from a couple who actually got married with that vendor, and rankings can't be bought.
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