Buy the dress, turn up to the things, and on the day be useful without being asked. That is genuinely most of it. The rest is being someone the bride does not have to manage in a month when she is managing everything.
What you are committing to
A dress you pay for, usually $100 to $300, plus alterations. Hair and makeup, which may or may not be covered — ask when you accept. Travel to the wedding and often to a bachelorette. Attendance at the shower, the rehearsal and the rehearsal dinner.
Ask about all of it at the point of accepting, including who pays for what. It is a completely normal question and the awkwardness of asking is far smaller than the awkwardness of discovering later.
On the wedding day
Arrive when you are told, not when you are ready. The morning schedule is built backwards from when photographs start and one late arrival moves everything.
Eat breakfast, drink water, and pace the champagne. The wedding party member who peaks at 3pm is a genre.
Watch for what needs doing: a grandmother who needs a chair, a flower child who has stopped walking, a bride who needs the bathroom in a large dress. Nobody will ask you.
Saying no, or saying less
You can decline. Being asked is a compliment, not a summons, and a friend who cannot afford a destination bachelorette and a $280 dress should say so rather than going into debt quietly.
You can also negotiate. 'I can do the wedding and the shower but not the bachelorette weekend' is a reasonable sentence between friends, and it is far better said in March than in July.
What to actually do about it
- Ask what it will cost when you accept
- Dress, alterations, hair, makeup, travel, bachelorette. All of it, at the start.
- Order the dress the week you are asked to
- Bridal-party dresses ship on the same long timelines as wedding dresses, and a late order delays everyone's alterations.
- Arrive at the time you are given
- The morning runs backwards from photographs. One late arrival moves the whole schedule.
- Bring flats and a phone charger
- You will be standing for nine hours, and somebody's phone is running something important.
Common questions
What are bridesmaids responsible for?
Buying the dress and paying for alterations, attending the shower, rehearsal and rehearsal dinner, usually the bachelorette, and on the wedding day being useful without being asked - arriving on time, staying fed and watching for what needs doing.
Do bridesmaids pay for their own hair and makeup?
Sometimes, and sometimes the couple covers it. Both are entirely normal - which is why you should ask at the point of accepting rather than assuming.
Can you say no to being a bridesmaid?
Yes. Being asked is a compliment rather than a summons, and declining early - or negotiating which events you can afford - is far better than quietly going into debt over it.
The vendors this depends on
Every review on Lazo comes from a couple who proved they actually got married with that vendor, and rankings can't be bought at any price.