What is the Chinese tea ceremony at a wedding?
Chinese · also called jing cha, wedding tea ceremony
In the Chinese wedding tea ceremony the couple kneels and serves tea to their parents and elders in strict order of seniority, addressing each by their proper title. The elders drink, then give red envelopes or jewellery in return. It is a formal act of respect and of being formally received into each other's families, and it is usually held privately rather than in front of all the guests.
The order, which matters
Tea is served by seniority, and getting the order wrong is a real error rather than a small one. It typically begins with the groom's parents, then grandparents and older relatives on his side, then the bride's family, though many families now do the bride's side first or run two ceremonies.
The couple addresses each person by their correct familial title as they serve - a system considerably more precise in Chinese than in English, distinguishing maternal from paternal and older from younger. Couples often write themselves a list.
What is served, and what comes back
The tea is usually sweet - lotus seeds and red dates are common, the pairing being a wish for children and for sweetness. It is served in small cups, held with both hands, offered while kneeling on cushions.
Elders drink, offer a few words, and give red envelopes containing money or, frequently, gold jewellery placed directly on the bride. In many families the jewellery accumulates visibly across the ceremony.
Planning it properly
A tradition only goes well if the people running your day know it is coming. These are the things to say out loud, and who to say them to.
- Write the serving order down with a parent
- This is the one thing to get right, and the family member who knows the hierarchy should dictate it. Do not improvise.
- Book a room and a time
- The tea ceremony is usually private and can take an hour with a large family. It needs its own slot in the day, not a gap.
- Have someone manage the envelopes
- Red envelopes and jewellery accumulate fast. Assign one trusted person to collect and secure them as they are given.
- Tell your photographer it is intimate and interior
- Small room, kneeling, low light, dozens of short exchanges. Very different from anything else in the day.
Common questions
What is the purpose of the Chinese wedding tea ceremony?
It is a formal act of respect in which the couple serves tea to parents and elders in order of seniority, and is formally received into each other's families. Elders respond with red envelopes or gold jewellery.
What order do you serve tea in?
By seniority, traditionally starting with the groom's parents and grandparents before the bride's side, though many families now vary this. Write the order down with a family member who knows the hierarchy - getting it wrong is a genuine error.
What tea is used in a wedding tea ceremony?
Usually a sweet tea with lotus seeds and red dates, symbolising a wish for children and for sweetness in the marriage. It is served in small cups, offered with both hands while kneeling.
The vendors who make this work
The tea ceremony depends on people who have done it before. Every review on Lazo comes from a couple who actually got married with that vendor, and rankings can't be bought.
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