What is a unity candle ceremony?
Christian & widely adopted · also called unity ceremony, candle lighting, taper ceremony
In a unity candle ceremony, two taper candles - usually lit earlier by the mothers of the couple - are used together to light a single larger candle, and the tapers are then either extinguished or left burning. It is one of the simplest and most widely adopted unity rituals, and the question of whether to blow out the tapers is a genuine point of disagreement.
How it is done
The two mothers, or another pair chosen by the couple, light the taper candles near the start of the ceremony. After the vows the couple takes one taper each and touches both flames to the central candle at the same time. The central candle is then the only one that needs to stay lit.
Whether the tapers go out afterwards is the interesting part. Extinguishing them reads as two lives merging into one. Leaving them lit reads as two people remaining themselves while making something new together. Many couples now leave them burning, and some officiants will say a line about exactly that choice.
The thing nobody plans for
Unity candles go wrong outdoors more reliably than almost any other element of a wedding ceremony. Any breeze at all will take out a taper, and a couple standing in front of 120 people trying to relight a candle is a long few seconds.
Hurricane glass, a sheltered position, or an indoor ceremony solve it. So does choosing a sand or water ceremony instead if you are outdoors and exposed.
Planning it properly
A tradition only goes well if the people running your day know it is coming. These are the things to say out loud, and who to say them to.
- Ask your venue about open flame
- A surprising number of venues restrict it, and some ban it entirely. Check before you buy anything.
- Use hurricane glass outdoors, or choose something else
- Wind is the only real enemy here. Glass shields or a different unity ritual are the two reliable answers.
- Test the wick before the day
- New candles with untrimmed or waxed-over wicks do not light quickly. Somebody should light them once, in advance.
- Tell your photographer where the table is
- It is usually off to one side, which means the couple turns away from the guests and the camera for a full minute.
Common questions
Do you blow out the taper candles after the unity candle?
Either is correct. Extinguishing them symbolises two lives becoming one; leaving them lit symbolises two people remaining individuals while building something together. Many couples now leave them burning, and your officiant can say a line explaining the choice.
Who lights the unity candle tapers?
Traditionally the mothers of the bride and groom, near the beginning of the ceremony. Some couples ask grandparents, children from a previous marriage, or other family members instead.
What is an alternative to a unity candle outdoors?
A sand ceremony, a water blending ceremony, or handfasting - all of which are wind-proof. Outdoor unity candles fail regularly unless they are shielded by hurricane glass.
The vendors who make this work
The unity candle depends on people who have done it before. Every review on Lazo comes from a couple who actually got married with that vendor, and rankings can't be bought.
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