Before the ceremony, the groom is brought to the bride — often carried, singing, by a crowd of men — and lowers the veil over her face himself. It is brief, loud and frequently the most emotional moment of a Jewish wedding, precisely because it happens before anything formal has begun.
Why the groom veils her
The reason usually given is Jacob, who was deceived into marrying Leah because he could not see her face beneath the veil. The groom lowers it himself to confirm he knows exactly who he is marrying.
A second reading holds that veiling her signals he values what cannot be seen over what can. Both are commonly offered, and many officiants say one aloud as it happens.
What it actually looks like
The bride is seated, often on a decorated chair, surrounded by women. The groom arrives escorted by a singing, dancing crowd of men, reaches her, the two see each other - frequently for the first time that day, and sometimes the first in a week - and he lowers the veil. Fathers and grandfathers often bless her immediately after.
It takes perhaps two minutes. It is chaotic, crowded and completely unstaged, which is why it produces photographs unlike anything else in the day.
Planning it properly
A tradition only goes well if the people running your day know it is coming. These are the things to say out loud, and who to say them to.
- Tell your photographer exactly where it happens
- Crowded, indoors, fast, with the couple briefly in the middle of a moving crowd. They need a position before it starts, not after.
- Allow time in the schedule
- The procession, the veiling and the blessings that follow take longer than the two minutes it appears to be.
- Tell your videographer about the singing
- The music is live, unamplified and from a moving crowd. Their microphone plan differs from the ceremony's.
- Decide about a first look separately
- If the bedeken is your first sight of each other that day, a first look would change it. Many couples deliberately keep the bedeken as that moment.
Common questions
What happens at a bedeken?
The groom is escorted to the seated bride by a singing crowd, sees her, and lowers her veil himself before the ceremony. Fathers and grandfathers often bless her immediately afterwards.
Why does the groom lower the bride's veil?
The traditional reason recalls Jacob, who was deceived into marrying Leah beneath a veil - so the groom confirms he knows who he is marrying. A second reading is that he values what cannot be seen over what can.
When does the bedeken happen?
Before the ceremony, usually right after the ketubah signing and immediately before the procession to the chuppah.
The vendors who make this work
The bedeken depends on people who have done it before. Every review on Lazo comes from a couple who actually got married with that vendor, and rankings can't be bought.
Browse every category in Albany → · What a wedding photographer costs →