What are the rules for wedding guests?
The short answer
Reply on time, dress to the code, don't wear white, arrive early, put your phone away during the ceremony, don't propose or announce anything, and say goodbye before you leave. Almost everything else is flexible.
At a glance
- Arriving
- Seated 15-20 minutes before the stated time.
- During the ceremony
- Phone away, out of the aisle, no photographs.
- Seating
- Sit where the chart says.
- Speeches
- Only if you were asked in advance.
- Announcements
- Never. Not a proposal, not a pregnancy.
- Leaving
- Say goodbye to the couple first.
Arriving
Aim to be seated 15 to 20 minutes before the stated ceremony time. Arriving as it begins means being walked in by an usher in front of everyone; arriving after means waiting outside until it is over, at many venues.
The time on the invitation is when the ceremony starts, not when doors open.
During the ceremony
Phones away and silent - not on your lap, away. Unplugged ceremonies are increasingly common and increasingly enforced, and even where they are not, a wall of raised phones is exactly what the couple paid a photographer to avoid. Your photograph of the aisle will be worse than theirs and will be in theirs.
Do not step into the aisle to take a picture. This is the single most common way a guest ruins a professional photograph of the processional.
At the reception
Sit where the chart says. It took hours and it accounts for things you cannot see.
Do not propose, announce a pregnancy, or otherwise take the day. It happens, and it is remembered for decades.
Drink at a pace you can sustain until the end. The cautionary tale at every wedding is a guest, not a vendor.
Say goodbye before you go, briefly.
Common questions
What time should you arrive at a wedding?
Seated 15 to 20 minutes before the stated ceremony time. The time on the invitation is when the ceremony begins, not when doors open, and late arrivals are often held outside until it is finished.
Can you take photos during a wedding ceremony?
Increasingly not - unplugged ceremonies are common and enforced. Even where phones are allowed, stepping into the aisle is the most common way a guest ruins the professional photographs the couple paid for.
Is it okay to propose at someone else's wedding?
No. Proposals, pregnancy announcements and any other personal news take a day the couple planned and paid for. It is remembered for decades, and never fondly.