How much should you give for a wedding gift?
The short answer
Most guests give between $75 and $200, with $100–$150 the most common single figure. Give what your budget allows — the widely repeated rule that you should 'cover your plate' is not real etiquette, and no couple worth attending is auditing what you spent.
At a glance
- Colleague or distant friend
- $50-$100
- Friend
- $100-$150
- Close friend or family
- $150-$300
- Attending as a couple
- One combined gift is normal, not double
- Can't afford much
- Give less, without apology. A card and a small gift is fine.
- Invited but not attending
- A gift is a kind gesture but is not required.
What people actually give
A rough and honest range: $50–$100 from a colleague or a distant friend, $100–$150 from a friend, $150–$300 from close friends and family, and more from immediate family who want to and can. Couples attending together frequently give one combined gift rather than doubling.
Where you live moves the number. Large-city weddings see higher averages than rural ones, and some communities and cultures have their own conventions, particularly where cash is the norm.
The 'cover your plate' myth
The idea that your gift should equal what the couple spent per head is not etiquette and never was. It was invented by people guessing, and it produces the perverse result that being invited to an expensive wedding costs you more.
You were invited because they want you there, not to fund the catering. If your budget is $60, give $60 without apology.
Cash, registry, or something else
Follow the registry if there is one — couples build it around what they need, and buying off it is never wrong. If there is a cash or honeymoon fund, that is an explicit statement of preference and it is fine to use it.
In many communities cash is simply the norm, given in an envelope at the reception. Italian, Chinese, Korean, Filipino and Polish weddings among many others have long-standing versions of this, and following the local custom is the courteous move.
Handmade or personal gifts are welcome when they are genuinely thoughtful and not a way to spend less while appearing to spend more.
Common questions
How much money should you give for a wedding?
Most guests give $75 to $200, with $100 to $150 the most common amount. Close friends and family often give more. Give what your budget allows rather than what you think is expected.
Do you have to cover your plate with a wedding gift?
No. The idea that your gift should match what the couple spent per head is not real etiquette - it was invented by guesswork, and it wrongly implies an expensive wedding obliges you to spend more.
Do you give a gift if you can't attend the wedding?
It is a kind gesture and often appreciated, but it is not required. A card with your congratulations is entirely sufficient if you are not attending.