Do you have to buy off the wedding registry?
The short answer
No, but you probably should. A registry is the couple telling you exactly what they want, and buying off it is the single most reliable way to give something useful. Going off-registry works when you know them well and have thought about it — not when you simply prefer your own idea.
At a glance
- Registry exists
- Buy from it. It is the safest and most useful choice.
- Everything in your budget is taken
- Group with other guests on a larger item, or give cash.
- Honeymoon or cash fund
- Contribute. It is an explicit request.
- You want to go off-registry
- Only if you know them well and have genuinely thought about it.
- Delivering the gift
- Ship to the registry address, not the venue.
Why registries are worth following
Couples build registries around gaps in their home and a spread of prices so guests can spend what suits them. Buying off it guarantees the gift is wanted, not duplicated, and the right size and colour.
The most common off-registry mistake is a decorative object chosen to your taste rather than theirs. It will be displayed when you visit and stored the rest of the time, and everyone involved knows it.
Cash funds and honeymoon registries
If a couple has set up a honeymoon or house fund, they have told you plainly what they need. Contributing to it is not lazy and is frequently more useful than an object.
Contributions are usually visible to the couple by name and amount but not to other guests. Give what you would have spent on a physical gift.
Timing and delivery
Ship to the address on the registry rather than bringing a boxed gift to the venue. Somebody has to carry everything home at midnight, and it is usually a parent.
Gifts are traditionally welcome up to a year after the wedding, though sooner is kinder - a gift arriving in March is harder to include in the thank-you notes the couple is trying to finish.
Common questions
Is it rude to not buy from the wedding registry?
Not rude, but the registry is the couple telling you what they actually want. Going off-registry works when you know them well and have thought carefully; it goes wrong when you simply prefer your own idea.
Should you bring the gift to the wedding?
Ship it to the address on the registry instead. Physical gifts brought to the venue have to be carried home at the end of the night, usually by a parent.
How long do you have to send a wedding gift?
Gifts are traditionally welcome up to a year after the wedding, but sooner is considerably kinder - a late gift arrives after the couple has finished their thank-you notes.